ROME, ITALY - No matter how long you are in the news business, there are some things you just cannot predict.
TBNN has learned of a scandal going on within the Vatican. Although no official announcement has yet been made, our sources tell us that Pope Benedict has converted to Christianity. How could this happen? How could the leader of the Roman Catholic Faith convert to another religion? The Pope's journey is interesting and educating for us all.
Several months ago, the Vatican began encouraging all Catholics to read great Catholic theologians. The thought was that this would increase the people's faith in the work of Rome. Possible authors included Thomas Aquinas, Johann Eck, Karl Rahner, and Mel Gibson.
In the midst of all this, one thing occurred which no one could predict. The Pope himself began to read Augustine. The Pope apparently did not realize that both Catholics and Protestants claim him as one of their great theologians. The Pontiff reportedly started by reading "Confessions." One source told us that he couldn't put the book down and was late to a mass because of it.
Augustine's journey through his "Confessions" apparently resonated with the Pope. He quickly moved on to "The City of God." We have learned that he finished that book in just three nights.
Protestants have never claimed that Augustine's theology was purely biblical. He made some mistakes along the way. However, he also greatly affected Martin Luther, John Calvin, and other Reformers for the good. His stress on the sovereignty of God could be heard throughout the turmoil of the 1500's. We at TBNN assume that Pope Benedict did not know that Augustine had such impact upon Luther, etc. We don't think Luther has yet been declared a favorite son of the Vatican.
Pope Benedict's journey through Augustine was completed when he tackled "On the Trinity." The Pope reportedly struggled a great deal with this one because the Virgin Mother does not play an important role in this text. In fact, she is not mentioned as a significant part of the God-head at all. She is not even mentioned as Co-Redemptrix.
This is when things got out of hand. Due to the influence of Augustine, Pope Benedict began to read the bible. He learned about the grace and sufficiency of Christ. Furthermore, he couldn't find any mention of the immaculate conception, the assumption of Mary, transubstantiation, extreme unction, purgatory, or even a Pope. He couldn't even find anything about those funky, red Cardinal outfits.
After finishing the books of Genesis, John, and Romans, the Pope experienced what can only be called a "dark night of the soul" that lasted for three days. He neither ate nor drank. He remained in his quarters praying and singing.
What happened next is difficult to believe, but has been verified by three different sources. The Pope came out of his room after the third night with a big smile on his face. He addressed the Cardinals in normal, everyday clothing (khakis and a Polo shirt), and told them that after reading Augustine and the bible, he had become a Christian.
It is difficult to determine with clarity what occurred after that. The Vatican is being extremely secretive about it. We do know that there was a large argument within the body of Cardinals about it. Some were excited while others were aghast. The Pope himself seemed to be filled with joy.
Pope Benedict has scheduled a public speech in front of St. Peter's Basilica this coming Friday afternoon. We do not know what he will say, but TBNN has heard rumors about the title of the address. It will be called, "I read Augustine, and now I don't get the Mass."
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06 December, 2007
Pope Reads Augustine, Converts to Christianity
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21 comments:
Priceless. Absolute gold.
"I read Augustine, and now I don't get the Mass." - very funny. What great freedom he and his followers might enjoy if indeed this post were true. The little I've read and heard of Augustine has been a great blessing, and I hope to read "Confessions" and "The City of God".
Studying Augustine in my Western Civ and Medieval Philosophy classes in college helped move me from my previous, non-denominational, vague evangelical theology toward a Reformed understanding. It's good stuff.
Cardinal outfits not in the Bible? I'll leave you with a comment from the study notes in the original Geneva Bible on Rev. 17:3 -
"A scarlet colour, that is, with a red and purple garment: and surely it was not without cause the romish clergy were so much delighted with this colour."
Hoo-boy!
Some things money can't buy. That satire is priceless.
That was superb. I find it very clever and funny, but also realize that, if true, would be so amazingly wonderful, it wouldn't be considered funny. Of course, the humor comes in that this would NEVER happen - certainly not like this.
wow-- this was well written. It was so well written that at first I forgot that it was satire. Anyway, I appreciated the authors views on this.
-Jonathan
P2R
"The Pope came out of his room after the third night with a big smile on his face. He addressed the Cardinals in normal, everyday clothing (khakis and a Polo shirt), and told them that after reading Augustine and the bible, he had become a ..."
Apparently, not only did he become a Christian, but an elitist, Reformed one to boot! Wow. Took me longer than 3 days to get to that point in my Christian life ...
Is that Augustine and Luther both I hear rolling over in their respective graves ...?
Naw, I suppose they enjoy a bit of satire too.
Surely by Pope converts to Christianity you mean protestantism?
By all accounts the Pope himself and all of society would describe catholics as christians I think.
I would be careful in claiming that catholicism is another religion however deformed or heretical it may be!
Love the satire guys, here's another Pope-related satire that i found hilarious written by The Onion.
Jordan,
Thanks for your comment.
Actually, I meant what the title of the post says.
The very heart of Christianity is the gospel expressed in the bible. This is a message of salvation based upon the grace of God. We are justified by faith alone through the grace of God alone.
Catholicism is a different religion because salvation is based on grace plus works. In Catholicism, God does His part in salvation, and man does his part.
Every religion in the world except for true Christianity is ultimately a works-based system.
Therefore, biblical Christianity and Catholicism are two different religions.
EE
Eric,
I would look at your definition of Christianity as "Reformed Christianity" or "Protestant Christianity", which is Christianity entirely based on the word of God. (Which is what I entirely believe is the true Christianity)
If someone wanted to follow Christ with tradition mixed in they are certainly going off track but to say they are no longer under the umbrella of Christianity is I think a little bit of an extreme.
Christianity in it's ultimate definition is simply following Christ. We have a whole lot of tradition in our reformed circles mixed in too, and I certainly don't believe we have got everything right.
Every Catholic would say that they follow Christ and I believe some of them do it a whole lot better than I do, (and some of them or a lot of them also obviously are deceived and don't even know the Lord, sounds like many of our churches in america :) ).
I think sometimes we hold up our doctrine so highly that we cause unnecessary divisions in the body of Christ.
Obviously correct doctrine is important and a works based gospel is really terrible and not at all the truth of the scripture, but I believe many of our perhaps deceived brothers in the Catholic church are utterly saved by the blood of Christ, and are perhaps more devout in their faith than many of us.
Just my 2 cents. Any thoughts?
Jordan,
Thanks for writing back again.
I agree with you that different groups have different religious traditions. The problem comes when those traditions get in the way of scripture.
For the most part, Protestants have traditionally elevated scripture over tradition, at least when it comes to the core of the gospel. Protestants have disagreements (such as Calvinism vs. Arminianism), but almost always agree on the basics of the gospel.
Catholics, on the other hand, in general have placed church tradition on par with or above scripture. This has led to their works-based teaching of salvation (through the sacraments).
You said, "Christianity in it's ultimate definition is simply following Christ." I agree as long as the Christ is the Christ of the bible.
Once any group departs from the core of the gospel (justification by faith alone through the grace of God alone), they are no longer Christian. They may claim to be Christian, but we have an objective source to determine whether or not they are - the bible.
EE
Jordan, I have a quick question:
Is a man that believes he is saved due to his baptism and works truely justified in the eyes of God?
P.S...Christ had many followers that are in Hell today. I wouldn't be so quick to confuse Biblical Christianity with merely "following Christ". Just a thought.
Great discussion guys!
Hope you don't mind if we continue, I'm enjoying it.
There's no question man's attempt to justify himself before God through good works is an utter stench in His nostrils.
The entire book of galations is bent on rebuking a church for making this mistake.
I would compare many aspects of the catholic church, (and many other denominations that have gone astray eg. Seventh Day Adventists) to the Galation church.
They've begun in the spirit and attempt to complete it in the flesh.
It's an absolutely terrible thought. It cheapens the power of the cross and Christ's completed work.
But are they utterly apostate?
I am unsure of that.
That's for God to decide. And I believe the answer depends on each individual in the catholic church and where their heart is before the Lord.
Question for you guys:
Would you consider Seventh Day Adventists to be Christians?
Jordan,
Regarding Catholicism, I do believe that some people who claim to be Catholics are in fact Christians. I can think of one couple who are friends of ours who love the Lord Jesus, are committed to serving Him, and bear fruit. I have no doubt that they are saved.
However, although my friends claim to be Catholic, they are not following the official teachings of the Roman Catholic Church. If a person does follow the official standards of Rome, and therefore bases his salvation upon the sacraments, then he is not saved.
As for 7th Day Adventists, I do not know enough about their particular doctrine to make a judgment either way. However, I would again say that whenever any group has official doctrine that violates the basics of the gospel (justification by faith alone through grace alone), then they are not truly Christian no matter what they say.
The dividing line must be the gospel. Paul makes this extremely clear in Galatians 1:6-9.
EE
ummm.... Catholics are Christians... this isn't satire, it's just silly...
Matt
Matt - Unfortunately you're going to have a very difficult time convincing our blog hosts here that Catholics (big 'C') are indeed Christians. As many believers of the Reformed persuasion are exceedingly hardcore in their definition of the Gospel as strictly "saved by grace alone (sola gratia) through faith alone (sola fide). A belief in the "spirit" of this standard, or even a definition consistent with it's wording often falls short. Unless you articulate the Gospel in these terms, precisely, you're likely to be deemed "outside the camp." I know -I've been there.
I've actually been on both sides of this little theological coin. I grew up in the Roman Catholic church and remained there through my grade school years. I subsequently left the church (not for theological reasons, at least at first) and eventually became an ordained Protestant clergyman (teaching elder) in a Reformed church. The animosities I found among many of my Protestant brethren toward the Catholic church run quite deep. They are passionate about their tenets - the formal and material causes of the Protestant Reformation.
Unfortunately, what we find in practice today among many of the Reformed ilk is an insistence upon a believer's ability to articulate the basis of their faith in the "approved fashion." If you don't use the right words, your status as a true Christian is de facto suspect. I was one of these people for quite some time. The prospect of labeling all Catholics as non-Christians on the basis of their inability to articulate the Gospel "correctly" is common practice. After all, it's much easier to do this than to actually research and study what the Roman Catholic church teaches in this regard. A strew man doesn't argue back ...
Fortunately, there are those of us within the Reformed camp who have realized that the Catholic church of the 16th Century is not in every way (the most important ones) the same church that was so much in need of reformation in Luther's day. Is the Catholic church perfect, or even in very good health? We may argue it is not, but is it, confessionally and theologically, a Christian church ...? I contend that it is, despite what our hosts claim.
I'm certainly not looking to pick a theological fight here, because I hung up my "I have to be right" gloves a long time ago, but I do want to make sure that those who find the blanket claim that "Catholicfs aren't Christians" in some way short-sighted are not alone. While many Catholics fall very short of being able to articulate their faith cogently, and express it as our hosts would prefer, there is solid reason to believe that foundationally they are saved by the very same faith we (Protestants) are. Perhaps they are saved in spite of their understanding of the Gospel, but can't we argue the same about many, many Protestants?
We can talk about the sacraments if you'd like, and the proper place for works in the life of a believer, but sometimes it is just good to remember that we share MUCH Tradition with the Roman Catholics, not least of which is summarized in the ecumenical creeds of our faith.
Let's avoid throwing the theological baby out with the baptismal water, shall we?
Shawn,
Congratulations, your straw man has been knocked out!
I don't have time to write you a full response. I'll let Eric do that if he so desires. I think if you'll read the comments you'll notice that we never said that all Catholics are not Christians.
Furthermore, there is a place for correctness and preciseness. But at the same time, your again trying to imply that I think someone's relationship with Christ is based upon his or her ability to articulate it correctly (take another swing at the straw man). We're not talking about an innocent theological system in which simple sinners say "I know I love Jesus, and trust him, but I don't know how to spell it all out." The Roman Catholics system of doctrine specifically states that salvation occurs through our own merits. And I don't care who it might offend, any system that teaches that my righteousness (which is as filthy rags) has the ability to save me, any system which says "Jesus is not enough" is damning.
Now, do I know some RCs who I believe are Christians? Yes, not because they articulate their faith well, but because they know they need Christ and him alone, and are, frankly, ignorant (I mean that term nicely) of what their church really believes.
The same core foundation of doctrine regarding the nature of Justification that existed in Luther's day exists today.
According to the Vatican's official website, it is possible for people to be saved solely through living a moral life. Jesus isn't required. As long as someone never hears the Gospel, but lives a "good" life, they get to go to heaven.
Catholicism is screwed up on many theological levels.
It pains me to see how many lack understanding of the only Catholic Church to be called by its name.
Go talk to a Bishop about the Catholic faith isntead of pretending to know what it says. Make not your own interpretations of it - you do the same mistake with the Bible and it created tens of thousands of you Protestants with differing views. And the Bibledid not drop from Heaven during the reformation nor was nurtured into being by any Protestant hand. Catholic Hands nurtured what was to form into THE Bible - Yes, the Catholic Church can claim the bible to be a historic permanent AND Catholic event - from the early church to the Reformation and until now.
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