tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post4329918145085511149..comments2023-10-08T17:10:23.473+03:00Comments on Tominthebox News Network - Religious Humor/Satire: Parents Seek Therapy for "Brainwashed" ChildUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-72579441943852523342007-04-18T00:34:00.000+04:002007-04-18T00:34:00.000+04:00Make the family read John Owen's Death of Death in...Make the family read John Owen's Death of Death in the Death of Christ. That'll learn 'em!<BR/><BR/>(It taught me the truth, anyway.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-3542290842741777322007-04-12T17:02:00.000+04:002007-04-12T17:02:00.000+04:00FlameGurl:You could just start taking your childre...FlameGurl:<BR/><BR/>You could just start taking your children to one of those churches where no-one brings their Bible, and they all read the verses off the Powerpoint, then you could start having them do personal Bible study using Powerpoints you've made, so you could carefully select the verses they view.Andrew Lindseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06543222209236040112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-33969269143928502242007-04-12T04:31:00.000+04:002007-04-12T04:31:00.000+04:00As I tell my Arminian friends--they were rpesdetin...As I tell my Arminian friends--they were rpesdetined to be Arminian.pilgrimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06341946961084387134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-65766749087178043282007-04-12T03:47:00.000+04:002007-04-12T03:47:00.000+04:00I suppose they'll be memorizing Romans 9 next year...I suppose they'll be memorizing Romans 9 next year. What's a parent to do?!? ;)Rev.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01921507566144608199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-28901528235763154922007-04-12T03:06:00.000+04:002007-04-12T03:06:00.000+04:00Calvinists, Arminians...can't we all just get alon...Calvinists, Arminians...can't we all just get along?<BR/><BR/>...Wait a minute! It's been tried. Methodists and most Presbyterians in Canada merged decades ago to form the United Church of Canada, which surely has the most watered-down approach to the gospel—and zero evangelical zeal—of any mainline denomination on earth. I guess it started out that way, in order to get both the Calvinists and Arminians on board. (Although many Presbyterian congregations held out and never joined the UCC.)<BR/><BR/>As for me, the Holy Spirit hasn't guided me to know where I stand on this one yet. The further my rebirth recedes into the past, however—and the more clearly I discern the hand of God at work in my life long before he saved me—the more five-point TULIP makes sense...but it's hard to completely give up on the idea of universal election and resistible grace.Stefan Ewinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05530690016594029847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-44117113326015532302007-04-12T02:58:00.000+04:002007-04-12T02:58:00.000+04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Stefan Ewinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05530690016594029847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-56670068749041992092007-04-12T02:44:00.000+04:002007-04-12T02:44:00.000+04:00Hey Anon,Well, you see, part of the Harris' proble...Hey Anon,<BR/><BR/>Well, you see, part of the Harris' problem is that the church taught Mark how to properly exegete Scripture and understand it in light of the whole of special revelation. So those verses actually support Marks' understanding of Scripture too.<BR/><BR/>-TomTeam Tominthebox News Networkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16874523643933164803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-32240493428851709222007-04-12T01:01:00.000+04:002007-04-12T01:01:00.000+04:00As the story continues...The Haris's church is now...As the story continues...<BR/><BR/>The Haris's church is now concerned about the counselor and the Harises are in a real fix. The staff counselor is not prohibited form seeing Mark and is now undergoing "deprogramming."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-43039319854982273622007-04-12T00:38:00.000+04:002007-04-12T00:38:00.000+04:00Anonymous (the first one) - that's what makes it f...Anonymous (the first one) - that's what makes it funny.<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>A parent's worst fear come true.<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>In Christ,<BR/>Albert Shepherd<BR/><B>The Aspiring Theologian.</B>Shep Shepherdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16019902307959923395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-53750856177282095742007-04-12T00:09:00.000+04:002007-04-12T00:09:00.000+04:00Or even better, you can ask the kid to explain how...Or even better, you can ask the kid to explain how God can be limited (Psalm 78:41), how Jerusalem resisted Christ (Matthew 23:37), How Israel resisted God (Romans 10:21 and Isaiah 65:2), how the Jews were able to resist the Holy Spirit (Acts 7:51), why Jesus would rebuke cites for not repenting (Matthew 11:20-24), why God would invite all the ends of the earth to be saved (Isaiah 45:22), why God wants none to perish (2 Peter 3:9), why He wants all to be saved (I Timothy 2:3-4), why God claims to have mercy on all (Romans 11:32), why Christ was a ransom for all (I Timothy 2:6), or that salvation itself can be neglected (Hebrews 2:3)? <BR/><BR/><BR/>Seems to me that you would need to cut more out of your own Bible than you would need to cut out of the kids...<BR/><BR/>:-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-18514058690648110272007-04-11T22:28:00.000+04:002007-04-11T22:28:00.000+04:00Overnight CALVINIX to the parents before it's to ...Overnight CALVINIX to the parents before it's to late!!! Save the parents and the rest of the family!!! FredFredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01854359749515010278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-38367412555391972772007-04-11T21:30:00.000+04:002007-04-11T21:30:00.000+04:00Thank you so much for the warning, I'm going to cu...Thank you so much for the warning, I'm going to cut Ephesians 1 out of my childrens' Bibles RIGHT NOW! I have also heard that Romans 9 and John 6 may also lead to this sort of rebellion in children. I hope my exacto knife is sharp enough to take care of all their Bibles!irRationalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01011449385602084986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-51709119535786193752007-04-11T21:16:00.000+04:002007-04-11T21:16:00.000+04:00Since the Lord taught me the Doctrines of Grace fr...Since the Lord taught me the Doctrines of Grace from Scripture, I've shared them with my Armininian family members. They now believe that my "crazy" ideas are God's judgment on me for "harboring bitterness" (because I showed them what the Scriptures say about their sinful lifestyles). I think they may also be blaming it on my diabetes & menopause. HA! I'm sure my need for counseling has been brought up, as well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-16781683088217602752007-04-11T18:23:00.000+04:002007-04-11T18:23:00.000+04:00Ephesians'll do that to people. That's why pastors...Ephesians'll do that to people. That's why pastors need to always preach topically and be <I>very selective</I> about which Bible passages they use.Andrew Lindseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06543222209236040112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-85667997026678270342007-04-11T16:13:00.000+04:002007-04-11T16:13:00.000+04:00We would probably be surprised as to just how real...We would probably be surprised as to just how real these circumstances could be.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88027082135973561.post-42306629856255178312007-04-11T15:59:00.000+04:002007-04-11T15:59:00.000+04:00It is so frustrating when the Bible gets in the wa...It is so frustrating when the Bible gets in the way of parents wanting what is "best" for their children!Erichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07306854704766653209noreply@blogger.com