Big Churches Install "Moving Aisles"

CONCORD, INDIANA

Pastor Timothy Adams of New Hope Fellowship in Concord had an epiphany the last time he flew.

"I was at the Memphis airport making a connecting flight down to Houston for a conference" said Adams. "I was standing on one of those moving sidewalks and I suddenly realized that this is exactly what we needed at our church."

Adams' realization is rooted in a common problem being faced by a number of large evangelical protestant churches in America. Congregations, in some cases, have become so numerous, and church buildings so large that some people are not able to make it to the front of the church during the altar call immediately following the sermon.

"The altar call is very important" said Adams. "If someone doesn't make it down the aisle one week, they've got to wait a whole other week before they can get saved. Our building is very large, and on average we have about 6,000 people in Sunday morning worship. A walk from the very back of the church can take up to seven or eight minutes. We're usually long done with the invitational hymn by then."

So when Adams stood on the moving sidewalk at the Memphis airport he found the solution to his church's problems - moving aisles.

"What we plan to do is put these moving sidewalks right in our aisles at church" he stated. "At the end of the service the ushers will turn them on, that way people at the very back of the church can make it down to the front in time before the music ends, that is, if they walk on the moving sidewalk while it's running. It basically moves a person at running speed he or she having to actually run."

The project, though, is not cheap. The church estimates that the cost of the moving aisles will be around $1.1 million dollars.

"We know this is going to be a huge investment for us" stated Adams. "But we're talking about people's souls here. You can't put a price on someone's soul. We've already started a campaign to raise money for these aisles, and so far the response has been very good. But each Sunday we delay we risk another poor soul who just can't make it down in time."

Church Nixes Fourth of July Celebration to Avoid Offending People Who Hate America

CLAYTON, MARYLAND

The First Unitarian Universalist Church of Clayton is taking a new approach to celebrating the fourth of July this year...they are not. The church decided over the course of the last year that, because of the number of people in the world that hate the United States, that they would forgo celebrating her independence for fear of offending anyone.

"We know that so many people in the world hate this country" said the Rev. Linda Thorton-Mitchell. "We don't want to offend people who hate America by celebrating Independence Day. When you think of all that this country has historically stood for, freedom, Christian principals, liberty, etc. it is obvious to see how many people could be offended if we took the time to rejoice in what we have here as a nation."

The first Unitarian Universalist Church is joined also by the first United Church of Christ in Clayton, under pastor Clark LaGrange.

"If we celebrate freedom, we will undoubtedly offend those around the world who hate freedom" said LaGrange. "If we celebrate liberty, then dictatorships will be offended. And let's not forget the British! Think of how many British died because of the Revolutionary War. If we celebrate American independence then we are basically saying to our British friends 'I'm glad you're dead.' We just can't bring ourselves to do that."

The two churches have traditionally had church cookouts and fireworks displays to celebrate Independence Day, but this year the congregations will combine for a new cause they call "Freedom From Intolerance Day."

"There's a new revolution out there today that must be fought" said Thorton-Mitchell. "We must gain our freedom from close minds and intolerance. We must overcome the oppression of unenlightened thinking. Give me homosexual marriage rights or give me death!"

The celebration will include a vegetarian cookout, complete with all organic foods, a dunk Al Mohler booth, and a pin the mouth gag on the fundamentalist game. Instead of a fireworks display to end the evening's festivities revelers will be invited to walk through a meditative labyrinth.

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Creflo Dollar's Name Inflates

COLLEGE PARK, GEORGIA

Creflo Dollar, founder and director of Creflo Dollar Ministries announced on Tuesday his plans to change his last name 'Fiddy-Dollars' due to inflation.

"I knew it was time for a change" said Dollar. "Here I am telling people that God has wealth and riches for them if they just give and ask in faith, and I have a last name like Dollar. What in the world can a Dollar buy anymore? Hardly nothing. People don't want a dollar, but fifty dollars, now that's some dough to get things going. You tell someone 'Hey, I'll give you a dollar if you do this' and they'd call you crazy. But if someone says 'Hey, I'll give you fifty dollars if you do this" and they'd be all up for that."

Dollar went on to state that his ministry, which focuses on God's giving of material wealth and prosperity to those who give generously to his ministry and 'name it' had been dwindling over the past few years for various reasons.

"Fewer people had been coming, and the tithes were really down" said Dollar. "I'm not sure why they have stopped coming. There's a new pastor that has started up a work not too far from here named Charles Diamond Ministries. I don't know if that's got anything to do with it or not."

TBNN was able to catch up with Charles Diamond, the founder of Charles Diamond Ministries for his comments.

"Yes, we've been having a lot of folks come over from Creflo's church" said Diamond. "I started my work here fifteen years ago when my last name was Hughes. Last year, when I changed my name to Diamond, people started coming more and more. We are packed to the hilt every Sunday here now with people tearing the down down just about."

But the presence of other competing ministries does not seem to be Dollar's main motivation for changing his name.

"I don't care what everyone else is doing" said Dollar. "Creflo Dollars has got to look out for Creflo Dollar, and soon I'll be Creflo Fiddy-Dollars. It's just a reflection of the riches that are out there for people to have if they'd only give in faith. I want people to see my last name and say 'Yeah, that's some money there.'"

Dollar's name will officially be changed to "Fiddy-Dollars" in July when all of the paperwork is complete. When asked if he ever thought his name would inflate again Dollar stated, "There might come a time here in the next few years when we need to up it to a hundred, but for right now I think we're okay."

Priest is Both Roman Catholic and Reformed

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DALLAS, TEXAS

On Saturday night The Reverend Father John Mark Henley dons his priestly garb and presides over mass at St. Mary's Catholic Parish in Dallas, administering Eucharist to the parishioners and leading the congregation in the liturgy. On Sunday morning he is faithfully in the front pew Canal Street Presbyterian Church (PCA) intently taking notes as the church's pastor preaches the sermon.

The question as to whether one can be both a Roman Catholic and a conservative Presbyterian is difficult for some, "absurd" to others. But for Henley it is an easy question with an easy answer. He professes to be both, and for almost fifteen months now he has practiced both faiths.

Henley's "conversion" to the reformed faith occurred in March of 2006 when he attended a funeral at a Presbyterian Church for a college friend.

"I was moved by the service" said Henley. "The people were so devout and so pious. The extemporaneous prayers moved me deeply, and I felt a great sense of peace. The people seemed so certain about salvation and so confident that their friend was saved."

Since that time Henley faithfully attends Canal Street Presbyterian Church once a week and spends the rest of his time doing his Parish duties at St. Mary's Catholic Church.

"At their core they are the same" said Henley. "There's really no distinction. We both believe in the Trinity, the virgin birth, the death burial and resurrection, etc. Being a Presbyterian only deepens my faith."

But many see the two theological positions as mutually exclusive and incompatible.

"While it's true that there are some very basic tenants of the Christian faith that Roman Catholics and Presbyterians agree upon, the two systems of belief are very different" said Dr. Milton Hilliard, professor of New Testament at Covenant Seminary in St. Louis, Missouri. "For instance, Presbyterians do not believe that baptism washes away original sin. Then you've got the issues surrounding the Pope, Mary, prayers to saints and transubstantiation. Catholics also do not believe in the exclusive authority of Scripture alone, nor do they believe in God's sovereignty in salvation the way we do. And at the top of the list is justification by faith alone in Christ alone, the very issue that gnawed at Luther's heart. The two systems of belief are just not compatible."

But Henley sees no "real" contradiction between his two faiths.

"I really don't see a problem" said Henley. "Sometimes I pray to Mary. Presbyterians believe in Mary too. Yes, I might pray to saints, but Presbyterians also ask their friends to pray for them. I just think of saints as like close friends that can pray for me. The fact that they're dead is only a minor thing."

Tominthebox News Network talked with Jeff Wells, pastor of Canal Street Presbyterian Church about Henley's attendance.

"I'm glad he comes" said Wells. "I'm glad when anyone comes, but I hope he realizes that Presbyterianism and Catholicism are very different. They are not the same faith. Reformed churches hold to doctrines that are explicitly contrary to Roman Catholic teachings. The five solas of the Reformation, Scripture alone, Christ alone, grace alone, faith alone and glory to God alone, are very much contrary to Romanist dogma."

But these issues do not seem to bother Henley.

"I look at the Reformed faith and think that it's an idea about God that draws people closer to him" he said. "I want to be closer to him too. Even though the Westminster Confession of Faith calls the Pope the 'Antichrist' that doesn't bother me so much."

Despite criticism and questions Henley still plans to continue practicing both faiths.

"I am 100% Roman Catholic and 100% reformed" said Henley. "No one can change that."

While Henley sees no problems with his practices he soon might face trouble with the local archbishop of his Parish.