Independent KJV-Only Fundamentalists Baptists Pass Website Reform

Tempe, AZ - In an unprecedented move, a national gathering of Independent KJV-Only Fundamentalist Baptists met in Tempe, Arizona to discuss the issue of website reform. While for the past 15 years churches and leaders within the IKJVOFB movement have resisted change, the fast growth of the web and new browsers now available have led the group to decided that something had to be done. Among those decisions passed were,

• Churches would upgrade their computer systems to at least Windows 98.
• Animated GIFs should be limited to no more than 50% of a page's image content.
• Underlined, bold and italicized text at the same time on a website should be discontinued. Churches or independent "evangelists" may continue to use any combination of the two, but not all three at the same time.
• All-caps may be used but only in reference to the KVJ-only position, "liberals," Calvinism, or when referencing James White. When referencing "common" points of doctrine (i.e. the Trinity, virgin birth, resurrection, etc.") all-caps may no longer be used.
• Sites must contain no more than two frames.
• Font sizes should be no larger than 78, with the exception of referring to the KJV-only position, "liberals," Calvinism, or when referencing James White.
• Spelling on websites must be at least 85% correct.
• Sites should take no longer than 4 minutes to load.
• Pictures should be kept to under 4 MB in size.
• Background music on sites should be completely eliminated.
• Sites should be updated at least every 3 years.
• Color schemes should be used that allow the text of the site to be at least barely readable.
• Plans should be made to discontinue writing sites in basic HTML on a plain-text editors by the year 2019.

"We feel these measures will bring our churches up to at least a 1999 level," said pastor Steven Sanderson of Faithful Word of the Bible Church in Tempe. "We want to see more of our IKJVOFB people better utilize 20th-century methods of communication.

Slopology

slop-ol-o-gy (slŏp-ŏl'ə-jē)
noun, plural -gies
1. The study of slop

I came across this jewel whilst perusing the internet the other day. Brother Grice here appears to be a rising star in the magical land of IBFdom. Listen closely here as he mounts up for battle and viciously attacks a straw man called "Calvinism."

Warning: You might not want to have your speakers up too loudly as Bro. Grice is found of sudden changes in volume.

Fundamentalists Await New "THiPhone"

Pensacola, Fl - Pensacola Christian College announced on Thursday that they will soon release the much anticipated "THiPhone." With the recent popularity of Apple's iPhone, many fundamentalists have been looking for a way to enjoy the convenience of the technology but without compromising their principles by using the "vulgar, base, worldly, accursed things."

"I'll admit, the technology is amazing, but I just couldn't bring myself to buy one," said Pastor Kenneth Hamperton of Bible Believers Sword of the Lord Baptist Church. "So many people own these phones and are listening to Kid Rock and Snoop Doggy Doo (sic) on them. Now while I wouldn't listen to such trash I know that someone might see me listening to my iPhone and say 'Hey look, brother Hamperton is listening to Kid Rock I bet. I guess I can too!' I don't want to be a stumbling block. We're called to be separate you know."

But the THiPhone, developed by a joint venture between the Science and Communications departments at P.C.C., promises to provide all of the functions of the iPhone but without the "evil" things normally associated with it. The THiPhone has many of the same features as the iPhone but with the following changes.

• Like the popular "ePhod" the THiPhone will not play any songs with "bad" music, such as music with offbeats, hand clapping or distorted guitars.
• The THiPhone comes pre-installed with a mobile version of Net Finney to prevent any Calvinist or Reformed websites from being visited.
• The THiPhone will play videos but only recorded services from the P.C.C. campus church.
• The THiPhone's camera can only take pictures of modest clothing or the P.C.C. campus.

There are also features that allow P.C.C. students to report other students who might be engaged in "rebellion" such as using the telephone in someone else's room or walking on the grass or speaking favorably of the Puritans. 

The THiPhone's release is planned for this fall with a starting price of $399.

THE REVOLUTION CONTINUES!!!

JOIN THE ARMINIAN REVOLUTION TODAY!!!!

Dear Comrads,

For some time now it has become evident that our dear religion is in trouble. For years now our churches, seminaries and homes have been plagued by a heresy that threatens to destroy us. Yes, I'm talking about Calvinism. For years, these Calvinists were confined to the fringes of Christianity, but over the past few decades they have been making a resurgence in many denominations. NOW IS THE TIME! I call upon all Arminians of solid conviction to take action to stop the spread of Calvinism throughout the world.

Now is time to root them out. Perhaps they are in your church or your school. It is possible that even your pastor himself is one! The word must get out. Over the course of the next few weeks we will be distributing these posters. Place them wherever you can. Let us end this wave of heresy before it grows worse.

Sincerely,
Comrad Foma Karlovich Slavsyn

Pastor Caught in Reformed Website Scandal

Battle Creek, Mi - John Hodges, the associate pastor of Liberty Baptist Church in Battle Creek, stood before an emotional and confused congregation this past Sunday and tried his best to explain what was going on with the church's senior pastor, Dr. Charles Hollingsworth.

"I know we are all in shock," said Hodges from the pulpit. "Believe me, I'm hurting from this too. But I think one thing that brother Charles needs right now is our prayers and our support. He's been placed on sabbatical indefinitely, but we want to work with him and spend some time trying to help him through this deeply troubling period of his life."

The trouble for Hollingsworth began about a month ago when the church installed a piece of software called Covenant Eyes on all of the church's computers. The Covenant Eyes software is intended to help guard against someone surfing the web for explicit material through accountability, remotely monitoring all internet sites visited on a particular computer and logging them so that they cannot be changed. The program then sends the information to designated accountability partners. In the case of Liberty Baptist various members of the Deacon's board were assigned to keep the pastoral staff accountable. While the main intention of the program is to guard against surfing explicit websites, the log information shows every site visited, including sites designated as "safe." Thus, it was not long before pastor Hollingsworth's accountability partner made some shocking discoveries.

"I got his weblog in my email, and I was looking it over carefully," said deacon Patrick Downes. "Everything looked fine to me, I didn't see anything inappropriate, but I kept seeing this one site over and over again called monergism.com. From what I could tell he was visiting this site a lot. So I decided to take a look and see what it was all about."

Downes describes what he found as "shocking" and "disgusting." As it turns out monergism.com is an entire website devoted to Calvinist and Reformed writings, cataloging everything from the Puritans to contemporary theologians. Downes soon found out that Hollingsworth had been deeply engaged in reading the works of John Owen, John Calvin, Sinclair Ferguson and C.H. Spurgeon.

"My heart sank when I found out he had been visiting all of these sites," said Downes. "I immediately contacted brother Hodges. We went into the pastor's study one night when he wasn't there and started up his computer. As it turns out he'd been downloading articles and even printing them out. We also found he'd started up a friendship with a local PCA [Presbyterian Church in America] minister, having coffee with him and things such as that. It was just terrible."

For the time being Hodges has been named interim pastor of Liberty Baptist while Hollingsworth has been placed on "Sabbatical." Hodges, who is supposedly overseeing his "rehabilitation," told TBNN that he has put Hollingsworth on a strict reading diet of Ergun Caner, Dave Hunt and Charles Finney. TBNN was unable to reach Hollingsworth for comment. Hodges further noted that Liberty Baptist is planning to buy the popular Net Finney software to ensure this kind of incident does not happen again.

"What Spurgeon Really Said" To Hit Shelves Soon

Following comments in Monday's story here at TBNN, the author of What Saint Paul Really Said and What Moses Really Saw, N.T. Wright quickly wrote his latest addition to the world of Christian literature entitled What Spurgeon Really Said. Wright's book examines numerous quotes from the famed 19th-century baptist preacher seemingly indicating that he was a Calvinist. Wright argues that even though the mountain of evidence seems to indicate clearly that Spurgeon was a Calvinist, that we have somehow misunderstood what he was trying to say, that statements such as, "That Christ should offer an atonement and satisfaction for the sins of all men, and that afterwards some of those very men should be punished for the sins for which Christ had already atoned, appears to me to be the most monstrous iniquity that could ever have been imputed to Saturn, to Janus, to the goddess of the Thugs, or to the most diabolical heathen deities." have just been misinterpreted, and that Spurgeon was not necessarily defending the doctrine of particular redemption.

Be sure to pick up your copy of What Spurgeon Really Said today and become even more confused about things that are clear and understandable.

Pro-Reformation Posters

After the enthusiastic response to last weeks Anti-Calvinism propaganda posters, TBNN is proud to present our own version of Pro-Reformation posters. Please feel free to post these on your website or anywhere you like. We only ask that you keep our web address on there.

Translation: "You, guard against Arminianism!"

Pensacola Christian College Releases New Anti-Calvinism Posters

Pensacola, Fl - In an effort to dissuade students from falling victim to "the evils of Calvinism," Pensacola Christian College has begun a new "Hearty Persuasion" campaign against the doctrines. The posters which have been placed all over campus show inspiring artistic drawings of people standing firm for free will against the "heresies of Calvin."

Don't Miss The "Amazing Air-Gun"!!!!

You've heard him rant against Calvinisim. You've seen him tasered live on stage. Now see the amazing Air-Gun Caner like you've never seen him before! You'll not want to miss "The Amazing Air-Gun and His Traveling Arminian Circus!"

Watch and listen in awe and wonder as The Amazing Air-Gun makes profound theological points and backs them up with the most amazing illustrations out there today! You'll not want to miss the amazing feats such as...

-Bungee jumping over a pit of live alligators (illustrating the virgin birth)
-Setting himself on fire (illustrating the perils of Calvinisim)
-Being sawed in half (illustrating the rapture)
-Being buried alive beneath an ant bed while covered in honey (illustrating the parable of the Sower and the Seed)
-Making himself float (illustrating the parting of the Red Sea)

Also watch in amazement as The Amazing Air-Gun makes the collected works of John Owen disappear live on stage!

And you want want to miss his grand finale when he offers an invitation by being fired out of a cannon through five rings of fire into a tank of piranhas.

Be sure not to miss the Biblical exposition of a lifetime. When "The Amazing Air-Gun and His Traveling Arminian Circus" comes to town!

Yahoo Accused of Giving PCC Administration Information on Calvinist Dissidents

Sunnyvale, California - The Internet "giant" Yahoo has recently come under fire by former Pensacola Christian College students who say they were "turned in" to the school's administration for maintaining an online forum which discussed and supported Reformed doctrine.

"We feel betrayed" said former student Mark Hudson.

Hudson, along with seven other students were recently asked to leave the school after the administration discovered that they were secretly maintaining the web forum. The site, called "The Calvinist Underground" was frequented by a number of "closet Calvinists" at many Independent Fundamentalist Schools around the country. The site often contained frustrations expressed by the students that if their true beliefs were to be expressed they would be pressured to leave their respective schools.

When Hudson and the other students were called into the Vice President's office, they had no idea what they had done.

"We thought maybe we were in trouble for walking on the grass or something" said Hudson. "We were prepared to take the punishment, but suddenly we were confronted with the question 'Gentlemen, is this your website?' We were shocked, because online we only used aliases. We didn't know it at the time, but they had been informed."

Since the students have left the school, they have since discovered that the school's administration was able to obtain their information through Yahoo.

"We don't know exactly how they did it, but they were able to contact Yahoo and get our real names" said Hudson. "We feel that this is a serious breach of privacy."

Hudson now fears for the other students that frequented the board.

"We had students from Liberty University, Hyles-Anderson College, and Baptist Bible College" said Hudson. "We don't know if their schools will simply be able to do the same thing and find out who these poor students are and they will get in trouble."

TBNN tried repeatedly to contact Yahoo, but no one was available for comment.

More Churches Accepting and Affirming Calvinists in Their Midst

Austin, Texas - Pastor Micah Law is excited about the direction that his church is going these days.

"We've become more open and accepting of others" said Law, pastor of Riverside Baptist Church in Austin during a recent interview with TBNN. "We know that our decision to become more open and accepting of Calvinists and Reformed people has caused a lot of trouble within our own denomination, but we feel it is the right thing to do."

Law's church is part of a growing number of churches within the Southern Baptist Convention that are declaring themselves to be Calvinist/Reformed/Sovereign Grace (CRSG)-friendly. While many SBC churches are currently struggling against Calvinistic tendencies within the denomination, some, like Riverside Baptist, are embracing the movement.

"While I myself am personally not a Calvinist, I don't think there's anything wrong with being one" claimed Law. "These people love the Lord and want to serve him too, and I don't think we should hinder them. There's no reason we should shun them or not let them become full members of our Southern Baptist churches."

But not everyone is so welcoming of the idea of a church that openly accepts Calvinists.

"I think it's absolutely terrible" said Rev. Danny Douglas, pastor of Longview Baptist Church in Onida, Arkansas. "It's one thing to say you welcome a Calvinist into your church. Of course we'd welcome one if he came, but we are going to be honest with him about his sin. For him to call himself a Christian and yet remain a Calvinist is just wrong. And these churches out there in our own denomination that are welcoming Calvinists, four and five-pointers and embracing them as brothers and sisters are in serious error."

Still others are even more infuriated by the whole tendency within the denomination.

"My son went off to college and became one of those blasted Calvinists!" shouted an angry Mark Tenderfoot, from Memphis, Tennessee. "I thought I had raised him right. We sent him off to school and a year later he comes to us and says 'Mom and dad, I'm a Calvinist.' It just broke our hearts. We still love him, but he's just not the same to us. Every time we see him we just can't get past it."

But despite objections CRSG-friendly churches continue to grow within the SBC.

"We have seen the good character of Calvinists within the SBC towards those of us who are not" stated Law. "We particularly respect Pastor Dever up at Capitol Hill Baptist, and Dr. Mohler. Both fine men of God. While I don't agree with all of their positions, they have been very gracious to those of us in the SBC with whom they differ and have done a lot for the cause of the conservative revival within our denomination."

When asked to what degree Riverside Baptist Church would allow a Calvinist to serve, Law commented,

"They are free to serve anywhere in our church. They can teach Sunday School, lead children's classes or even pursue pastoral ministry. We want Calvinists to know that they are welcome and accepted here, so that they may freely serve."

When asked if Law would marry a Calvinist couple in his church Law responded,

"Of course, if a Calvinist couple wants to marry, who am I to say that it's wrong."

Calvinism Air Safety

Click on the image to enlarge.

Finney Land Set to Open in 2009

LYNCHBURG, VIRGINA

Looking for a place to take the family for vacation? Now look no further than Finney Land! Finney Land will be a full service family fun park complete with rides, games and shows set to open in 2009.

-Ready for a scare? Then take ride on the Anxious Seat roller coaster.

-Want to practice your shooting skills? Head over to the Cock n' Aim at Calvin shooting range, and see if you can hit the mark.

-Is the weather getting you hot? Cool off by riding down Warren's Wave into the huge baptistery. Didn't get wet enough the first time? No problem. You can ride as many times as you like until you get it right!

And don't forget to take the time to catch special appearances by our park characters, including Jacobus Arminius, and Charles Finney himself!

And, you won't want to miss Caner's Tree Stump show on the weekend with special appearances by Ergun Caner!

Be sure to look in specially marked boxes of Arrr-mini-ohs for your chance to win free tickets!

All the fun begins on May of 2009. Mark your calendar, and make plans now to visit Finney Land.

The park is open to anyone, but only you can choose to come. Make your decision today!

Pastor's "Unfortunate" Name Makes Finding a Church Tough

KILN, MISSISSIPPI

Sharing the same name as a famous historical figure can be a positive or a negative thing depending on one's perspective. For example about five years ago a small church in Virginia was thrilled when they called their new pastor Robert Edward Lee. Around the same time a pastor by the name of William T. Sherman struggled to find a pastorate in state of Georgia. The same stands true for one Southern Baptist Pastor in Mississippi. After attending New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary he began looking for a pastoral call to a Southern Baptist Church, but with little success. Now, six years later he continues to search and pray for a call to the ministry. His name - John Calvin.

Calvin, who was brought up Presbyterian, joined the Southern Baptist Church during his college years. He also changed his theology to match the more pervading Arminian views held by most Southern Baptists. After college he felt called to attend seminary and enter the pastorate. While his years at seminary seemed to go well, Calvin has had "nothing but problems" ever since he finished his studies and began seeking a call.

"Growing up Presbyterian my name was never a big deal, but when I became a Baptist and stopped following Calvin's teachings a lot changed" said Calvin. "Some of my seminary professors even suggested that I start going by my middle name. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal, but I guess I was wrong."

Immediately out of seminary Calvin began searching for a call. While most of his friends quickly received calls, mostly to small rural churches, Calvin did not receive even so much as a phone call from the churches he contacted.

"I sent out resume after resume and no one would even call me back" said Calvin. "Finally one day a deacon from one church called me. I got really excited, and then he asked me 'Is your name really John Calvin son?' I told him yes and he just started laughing and said 'Well, we just wanted to see if this was a joke or not.' I never heard from them again after that."

Calvin currently resides in Kiln, Mississippi where he works for a concrete mixing company and attends Mt. Zion Baptist Church and helps with the church's youth ministry. But even at Mt. Zion Calvin, still struggles to be accepted by the congregation.

"They have yet to ask me to preach once or teach Sunday School" he said. "I suppose it might be time to change my name or start going by my middle name, Luther."

Doctor Tries New Technique to "Raise the Dead"

BANGOR, MAINE

Some call him a "genius." Others say he is a "revolutionary," while even some will say he is "out of his mind." His name is Dr. Linus Fisher, and he has caused quite a storm in the medical community over the years with his proposed controversial method to bring the dead back to life.

The story actually begins about twenty years ago when Dr. Fisher stood by the bedside of one of his patients who was passing away. At that moment, as the patient was dying, an idea came to him that he began developing further. Two years later he released his theory in the Journal of American Medicine.

"It is, therefore, my conclusion that the ability to overcome death itself is rooted in the willpower of the deceased" wrote Fisher in his article. "The phrase 'lost the will to live' is so commonly used in a tongue-in-cheek fashion, yet there is a profound truth held therein. One's 'will to live' is exactly that, a will. I thereby propose that death may be overcome in one who has died by simple and practical convincing and persuasion by those around him."

Since the first appearance of his article Fisher has experimented with approximately 300 deceased subjects to see if he can persuade them to live.

"We've tried a number of techniques" said Fisher. "When I first began my work I tried simply standing over the deceased subject and shouting 'Live! Live! Open your eyes and be alive!' That yielded no results. Soon after that we began to involve family members, getting them to also offer persuasive words to bring their loved one back to life. That also yielded no results. So far the work has failed to yield one reanimation, but I still have confidence yet."

More recently Fisher has begun experimenting with a number of new techniques that he hopes will work effectively.

"In my most recent attempt I have tried standing on the other side of the room from the deceased while playing some soft and gentle music" said Fisher. "But now, rather than give the deceased imperative commands to live I plead with them gently asking them, 'Don't you want to live my friend? Don't you want the grief of your family to stop? Come, please, and choose to live today. It's all up to you. It's your decision.' This has not yet worked, but we are still fine tuning the process."

Despite failure after failure, Dr. Fisher is convinced that the ability of the dead to come back to life is a matter of one's will to do so, and despite criticism he still plans to continue with his work.

"Some say it takes a miracle to raise the dead, but I say it takes simple desire" said Fisher. "All a dead person has to do is get up and start living again."

$40 Million Dollar Debt Paid, But Debtor Still Faces Prison

NEWARK, NEW JERSEY

Three years ago Paul Kerovian lost it all. He had invested heavily in the "dot com" boom around the turn of the century only to watch his investments crumble one by one. Finally, in 2004, his portfolio hit rock bottom leaving him $39.8 million dollars in debt, jobless, homeless and virtually friendless, that is until help came.

As it turns out Kerovian's older brother, Donald, had invested his own money elsewhere, focusing on more stable technology stocks. As a result Donald Kerovian had amassed a fortune of some $2.5 billion dollars in net worth. Taking pity on his younger brother's plight, Donald Kerovian paid off his debt in full. Paul Kerovian was then totally free of his obligations to his creditors, yet one problem remained - he did not believe that his older brother had paid his debt, and now, because of that, he faces prison time.

"When I heard about the trouble that Paul was in I immediately contacted his creditors and settled his accounts" said Donald Kerovian. "He's totally square with the banks now. He owes nothing."

But despite the evidence, Paul Kerovian still refuses to believe that his brother has freely paid for all his debts. And now the various financial institutions that he was once indebted to are pursuing legal action against him for not paying them back.

"On paper Mr. Kerovian has no debt with us" said William Purcell, President of Purcell Trust and Lending. "Mr. Kerovian's brother paid off all of his debts in full. So he owes us nothing. But we recently found out that Mr. Kerovian has not accepted this fact and therefore still lives under the belief that his debt is not paid. Therefore, because of his unbelief we intend to press full charges to have him punished for his criminal negligence in not paying us back."

Other creditors of Paul Kerovian have expressed similar sentiments regarding his situation indicating that since Mr. Kerovian has not accepted that his debt has been paid then he must still be punished for his debt.

"We've tried to tell Mr. Kerovian that his brother has paid for all his debts" said Purcell. "But he fails to freely accept this. So he must suffer the penalty of the law. Even though his brother has paid for everything it doesn't count unless he accepts it personally. Even though he has no debt he must be punished still."

Net Finney 2 Available Soon

LYNCHBURG, VIRGINIA

After the immense success of Net Finney, the software that filters out Calvinist and Reformed material on the internet, Liberty University recently unveiled its plans to release Net Finney 2.

"Net Finney was a refreshing breeze to the Christian community." Said Dr. Ergun Caner, President of Liberty Theological Seminary, in a statement released by the university. "It has helped put the brakes on this madness of Calvinism infecting our churches. But we have designed Net Finney 2 to be even more powerful and more accurate in filtering out Calvinist and Reformed materials. It will give its users more control over what they see and more freedom to choose where they want to go when they surf the web."

While the response to Net Finney, when it was originally released, was positive, a number of users had complained to the university about "glitches" in the program. One in particular was that Net Finney blocked the popular Bible search site, biblegateway.com, and even non-Calvinist sites such as Dave Hunt's The Berean Call due to books listed on his site that are against Calvinism.

"Overall I really liked the program." Said Liberty Student Thad Morrison. "I had really been struggling for months before Net Finney was released. I was reading Reformed websites sometimes two or three hours a day, but that's all stopped now. Me and some guys here at the school formed an accountability group to keep each other in check. Every Friday morning we have breakfast together and ask each other 'Have you been avoiding the Reformation?' I'm really excited about the second edition of Net Finney. It's helped me so much."

The second edition of Net Finney will feature advanced "TULIP Controls" where users can selectively allow certain pages to be viewed. But the program will selectively change the wording of websites if Calvinist and Reformed material is present. Thus the program effectively alters the words of the Westminster Confession of Faith, III.3, to read,

"Not by the decree of God, some men and angels will make it unto everlasting life; and others by their own free will and choice will make it to everlasting death."

In addition, the program now features "live updates" where it receives updated information from the University's servers regarding new Calvinist and Reformed websites on the internet.

Liberty plans to release Net Finney 2 later this summer. Those who already own Net Finney will be able to simply upgrade the program for a minimal cost.

"It just keeps getting better and better." Said Caner. "If this trend keeps up I may not have to stand up on that stump one day."

Parents Seek Therapy for "Brainwashed" Child

RUTHVILLE, MAINE

Charles and Linda Harris are feeling "duped" these days. Last summer they innocently let their eleven-year-old son Mark attend a vacation Bible school at a nearby church, Ruthville Christian Reformed Church. Though devout members of another congregation in town, they decided to let Mark attend for the week because some of his friends had invited him.

"Everything was going great at first." Said Charles. "The first day Mark brought home some drawings and other art projects he had done with the group. They were also memorizing the first few verses of Ephesians 1 for the week. I personally thought it was great. I'm always supportive of him learning more about spiritual matters."

But what began as a simple and innocent week at vacation Bible school soon turned into what the Harrises now call their "nightmare."

"We were having dinner Friday night after the week had ended." Said Linda. "It seemed like Mark had had a good time and made some new friends. So I asked Mark, 'Tell me what you learned this week, sweetie?' and he started telling me a bunch of different things they had learned, all of which seemed good. But then he said 'We also learned that God chose his elect from all eternity and predestined them to salvation.' Charles and I just stopped and looked at each other, and I said 'What did you say, love?' and he said 'We learned that God chooses us first, we don't choose him first.' I mean our jaws just hit the floor. We were speechless!"

As the meal progressed the Harrises soon discovered that during the week Mark had been taught about the doctrines of election and predestination, common to reformed theology.

"We called the church the first thing on Monday morning and really let them have it." Said Charles. "How dare they brainwash my child with all of that mess!"

The family is now faced with an even bigger problem regarding their son. Not only was Mark taught the doctrines, but he himself came to understand and believe them.

"I really don't see why my parents are so upset." Said Mark. "I mean, the Bible just says it right there on the page that God chose and elected and predestined. How could I not believe it?"

The Harrises tried for months to persuade their son to change his new views, but to no avail. The situation has recently become so frustrating for the family that they are now seeking therapy for Mark in order to "help" him with his "problem."

"Mark is now meeting weekly with a counselor on staff at our church." Said Charles. "They've only met twice, and so far Mark hasn't changed his mind, but we're going to give it some time and see what happens. We're just praying that soon we'll have our boy back the way he was before and that he'll soon give up this nonsense."

Infra and Supralapsarian Couple Learns to Live and Work Together

JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI

The story of how Karl and Emily Crisler met and fell in love is a moving one. They were both in their first year at Reformed Theological Seminary in Jackson. She was fresh into her studies in Marriage and Family Therapy, he a Master of Divinity student struggling through Greek and Hebrew. They met in Theological Foundations, a three-hour-long Monday night class, and became fast friends.

"We started out just chatting some during the break time." Said Emily. "At first I thought he was just the typical MDiver, trying to impress me with how intelligent he thought he was. I just tried to be polite. But soon I really begin to notice him more and more. He was different, humble in many ways. We became good friends."

"I knew I wanted to marry her the moment I laid eyes on her!" Said Karl. "She didn't know it then, but I did. We were going to get married some day."

And, indeed they did. By the time they entered their second year at RTS they were husband and wife.

It would be great if the story ended with "and they lived happily ever after," but, unfortunately, that is not what happened. While the Crisler's faced many of the struggles common to newlyweds, one in particular caused significant problems in their marriage.

"It was a typical evening at home." Said Karl. "Emily had cooked a wonderful meal, and we were just having some dinner conversation. I began telling her about what we'd been studying in my Systematic Theology class on Infralapsarianism and Supralapsarianism."

Infra & Supralapsarianism are two views known commonly within reformed doctrine. Infralapsarianism argues that God's disposition towards the reprobate in his eternal decree is somewhat more "passive," that God determined that the fall would happen before he predestined some to salvation, thus "passing over" those who would not be saved. Supralapsarianism places God's decree to predestine some to salvation ahead of his decree of the fall. Thus reprobation occurs in a more "active" sense.

"As our conversation continued it suddenly became clear that Emily and I weren't on the same page." Said Karl. "When I was describing Supralapsarianism to her she said 'Well, that's what I believe.' and I asked her "How in the world can you believe that?"

"It was a big mess." Said Emily. "We argued for almost two hours about the whole thing."

In the days and weeks that followed tensions began to mount in the Crisler's marriage. Finally, they decided to get some counseling to help them through this trial.

"I really think things are beginning to get worked out now." Said Emily. "Even if we have this major theological difference between us, I know we can work it out and learn to live and work together."

"I still think she's wrong, but I love her." Said Karl. "And I know we've committed to stay together 'for better or for worse.' That's what I intended to do. I know we're not the only ones dealing with these things though. I have a friend out at Westminster Seminary, and he and his wife are going through some struggles over some major theological issues. His wife actually believes that flowers in the sanctuary are an acceptable thing, even in light of the regulative principle of worship. I don't know how it's going to work out for them, but we're committed."