Russian Pensioners Protest New Facebook Layout

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You Write the Song

Today is your turn to come up with perfect song title to go on this album. Feel free to post as many as you like, but keep them civil and clean.
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New Album: Weepy Whiney Songs for Today's Typical Christian Male

From the best of Christian Radio comes an album just for you males in the church out there. It's the best weepy, whiney overly emotional spineless songs to encourage you as you battle through your hard and tedious life day after day. Titles include,

-My Parents are Making me Move Out
-Why Do I Need a Job?
-Responsibility is Not My Spiritual Gift
-My X Box Broke, Help me Through This Storm
-Help Me Through This Trial of the Cable Being Out
-Why Do Girls Want a Man With a Job?
-I Spilled My No-Fat Mocha Latte on My Lemon Yellow Vest
-Mark Driscoll Yelled at Me and Now I Want to Cry

...and many more great titles to lift you up when darkness clouds your spineless, aimless existence. FULL STORY

Brother Cites Matthew 18 - Intends to Never Forgive Sister Again

If there's one thing that Jared and Charity Ellison do well, it's fight. Rarely is there a peaceful moment in the Ellison household when these two are home together.

"We have to stay on them constantly," said Father Mark. "We just don't know what to do sometimes. I mean, overall they're good kids, they just kick and claw and scream and yell and hit each other repeatedly. I'll scold them and say 'Now, you two shouldn't do that.' or make them do timeout or something, but they just keep on fighting."

But things recently got worse and for a reason the Ellisons weren't expecting. It all started when Mark and his wife Glenda decided it was time to start taking the kids to church. The first Sunday they had attended in a long time, the kid's Sunday School lesson was on the subject of forgiveness from Matthew 18:21,22;

"Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."

"When we heard what the Sunday School lesson was about we got all excited," said mother Glenda. "We thought that perhaps this would encourage the kids to start loving and forgiving each other more."

But the Ellisons were wrong. Upon hearing the lessons, younger brother Jared decided to take the verse literally, specifically where Peter asks about forgiving one's "brother." Now he never intends to forgive his sister ever again.

"Ha! It doesn't say anything in the Bible about forgiving your sister!" screamed an excited Jared. "I'm so glad we went to church. It was awesome. She has to forgive me because I'm her brother, but I don't have to forgive her for anything, because she's a girl!"

While a little dismayed, Charity may have found her own loophole in the command.

"Okay, so if I have to forgive my brother, I have to forgive him, but I only have to do it 'seventy times seven' just like the Bible says. I figured out how much that is. I've got straight A's in math you know. And seventy times seven is 490. You can bet your boogers I'm keeping track of how many times I've forgiven that little brat, and he's not going to get one extra forgiveness from me. Not one!"

According to Charity by the end of the day Monday following the Sunday School lesson, Jared had already used up 264 of his "forgivenesses." FULL STORY

I can has prosperiteez?

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