11 January, 2007

A Millennial "No Behind" Novel Suffers from Lackluster Sales

Despite the hype among a millennialists over the new fiction series by William Paxton entitled No Behind, the first few weeks of sales have proved very disappointing. "We weren't anticipating anything like the sales of LaHaye's and Jenkins' Left Behind, but at the same time we weren't expecting such low sales," said Paxton during a recent interview.

In it's first month of sales Paxton's fictional account of the end times sold only 12 copies. A millennialism holds to a literal Second Coming but sees things such as the 7 years of tribulation as figurative for other things that go on in the world throughout history. They also hold that there will be no "secret rapture" of the Church.

"The position basically states that the church is currently in the millennial period, which is figurative and not literal. This will continue until the Second Coming of the Lord." Said Paxton

"How boring is that!" remarked Stacy McLeod, an avid reader and fan of the popular Left Behind series. "I mean, there's no rapture, no panic in the streets when people disappear, no Slavic guy who becomes the Antichrist. It's just the gospel being preached, people getting saved and Jesus coming back. Talk about dull."

Despite the lackluster sales, Paxton is confident that his new novel will catch on. "We've just had a slow start. I'm convinced that as word gets around more and more people will start checking out the book. I think people want variety in their reading. The Left Behind series presents one view. This is mine."


Stefan Ewing said...

Man, brilliant stuff. In just a few posts since January of this year, you seem to have touched base with pretty much every modern-day theological or scriptural debate under the sun--and with great sarcastic wit to boot!

Anonymous said...

Funny idea, but the satirists of Canon Press had the idea and actually wrote the book (a very funny one, in my opinion):