22 February, 2007

New Orleans Saints Seek to Draft Benny Hinn


They are a team that has endured many hardships and trials. They survived temporary relocation after a Hurricane destroyed most of their home town, they suffered loss after loss the same season, and though they came back fighting during the 2006-2007 season they once again found themselves falling short of a Super Bowl opportunity. In all the New Orleans Saints have had a tough history as a team. But this year Saints owner Tom Benson is looking towards a prospect that will hopefully give his team the boost it needs to go all the way to the 2008 Super Bowl.

"I was watching this guy, Benny Hinn, on television the other night." Said Benson. "He would raise his hands in the air and 75% of the audience would just fall backwards. He would touch somebody on the face and they'd tumble to the ground wiggling all over the place. It was amazing! If we had someone like that on our team there'd be no stopping us next year."

"We've been trying to get in touch with Mr. Hinn for almost a week now with still
no response." Said head coach Sean Payton. "We really want to get him in to training camp this summer and get him to demonstrate that little touch thing he does or that little arm wave."

Many of the Saints players were equally excited about the prospect.

"Just think like, you know, if he was on our offense, you know, he could just, you know, wave his arm and the other team would all, you know, hit the deck." Said linebacker Terrence Melton. "If he just, you know, touched somebody they would fall out, you know, and we could go all the way for a touchdown every time."

The Saints said they plan to offer Hinn a $19.5 million dollar contract if he were to sign with them this season. But some obstacles still remain for the Saints though before Hinn can be signed.

"This is highly unusual." Said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. "The commission is going to have to meet and talk about this one further before we make a decision."

"We plan to go all the way with this if we can" Said Benson. "If we can just him out there next year I feel confident we'll go all the way to number one!"


slmayes said...

Added to this would be the prospect of a team with no disabled list. Hinn could just heal them all! I say, "Go for it!"

Team Tominthebox News Network said...


Yeah, an entire season with no injuries! That would be great.


Tom Gee said...

I wonder how Benny would feel taking such a drop in income, though?

Rev. said...

This is sad news, indeed, for fans of other NFL teams. They don't have a prayer now....unless.... think Kenneth Copeland might sign with the Cowboys?

Joe said...

If the Saints dangle a Gulf Stream carrot in front of Hinn, I think they can get him to sign.

The only issue, as I see it, is finding a Nehru jacket in black and gold.

"Hinn Dat Say Dey Gonna Beat Dem Saints..."

Stefan Ewing said...

Yet another brilliant post! Who knew Calvinists had a sense of humour!?

The only problem I see with this is a Pentecostal minister interceding on behalf of Catholic saints. Something's wrong with this picture.

Joshua A. Hitchcock said...

being an Atlanta boy, maybe we can draft Rod Parsley. Michael Vick just isn't cuttin it.

Al said...

The Roman Church is reaching out all over the place. First Luthrans (non LCMS) then Anglicans and now a Trinity obscuring Pentecostal. Next thing you know the SBC will fall prey to their trickses.

al sends

Stefan Ewing said...

LOL. SBC and RC fellowshipping. In other news, hell has frozen over!

pilgrim said...

I thought of the injury free thin as well.

As for Hinn and the RC's--they'd have a bigger problem with him than he would with them...