21 May, 2007

Advertisement: Joel Osteen's "Your Best Teeth Now!"

Now, you too can know the secrets of a brighter smile with Joel Osteen's latest book Your Best Teeth Now! In his new book, Joel will share with you how he keeps his teeth "whiter than the pearly gates."

While brushing, flossing and mouth rinse are all important, a healthy smile takes much more. A believer has a right to a pain free smile.

Imagine, no more toothaches, no more crooked teeth, no more fillings, no more braces. Get your copy of Your Best Teeth Now! today.

Only $12.95 for paperback, or $19.95 for hardcover.


Malachi_Abaddon said...

I think Sacred Sandwich already did this, but doesn't matter, it's still funny.

Team Tominthebox News Network said...


Ooops! You're right. Though SS's ad was for a toothpaste, though they did use the phrase "Your Best Teeth Now."

My apologies, this was unintentional. I suppose it shows that Reformed minds think alike.


Anonymous said...

It all begins with "just believing it and receiving it and then you can just smile in the midst of everything and everyone will see the GLOW-ry of god. (lower case intentional)

Stefan Ewing said...

"Cleanliness is indeed next to Godliness." (John Wesley, 1791—Arminian!)

Joshua A. Hitchcock said...

Yes, Sacred Sandwhich did introduce the toothepaste, and they have sold many tubes already, and many preachers are entering the pulpit with smiles, this is just Joel's new book how using his toothepaste increases God's Blessing in your life.

Jacob said...

Here's the video

Religion Roundtable said...

I just watched that video, and I've got to get some of whatever toothpaste Osteen uses so I can better show the joy that is within me!

Anonymous said...

I appreciate your humor, and I don't agree with Pastor O. about a host of things. Don't you think, though, that his message may be valuable to some, though not necessarily you? Wouldn't your satire be better pointed at some of your past targets (i.e. Rev. Phelps), or even at ideas rather than individuals who, in spite of their particular theology, do consistantly proclaim Christ?

Stefan Ewing said...

At what price, though? My wife was encouraging me to read Your Best Life Now a couple of years ago, before I was saved, and I came away with the impression that this book would simply encourage in those who embraced his teaching, the belief that material prosperity was the purpose of having faith in God. What is the chief end of Man? to be rich! Hallelujah!

The corollary would seem to be that if one believes and yet does not become materially rich (perhaps he blesses us in other ways), does that mean we are weak in our faith? We weren't praying hard enough? Ultimately, couldn't this gospel lead to disillusionment and people walking away from God? And aren't we going to consume ourselves with storing up treasures, rather than trusting God to look after our needs (and our needs, not our wants). And how does this square with the vows of poverty that some Christian (okay, Catholic and Orthodox) orders take, or with the difficulty Jesus speaks of in a rich man getting into heaven (because of his attachment to his material possessions and placing those above God)?

Is that really what God wants for us, to simply make us materially wealthy?

Shep Shepherd said...


Did you hear about Osteen's newest book on dating and relationships? It is called "Your Best Wife Now."

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

(Yes, I am joking)