18 July, 2007

Advertisement: Spiritryl - "When Being Filled Just Isn't Enough"

Do you ever find yourself on Sunday mornings, tired, depressed, down and out? Ever feel like you just can't "get into the spirit" of the worship? Do the songs seem dull and repetitive? Are you just plain lousy at speaking in tongues? Now there's help.

Spiritryl is a new specially formulated all-natural supplement to boost your religious fervor. Just one dose of Spiritryl and you'll be the most spiritual and worshipful person in your congregation, GUARANTEED!

"I had never really spoken in tongues before, but after taking just one Spiritryl last Sunday I couldn't stop! Thanks Spiritryl." - Patricia Spalding, Columbia, South Carolina

"I took it right before worship, and I don't even remember what happened after that. Everyone said I jumped up on the pew and started swinging from the light fixtures, then I started splashing around in the baptistery. After that they told me I ran outside and ran around the church for four hours straight. I've never been so spiritual in my whole life!" - Amanda Charles, Orlando, Florida

Order your bottle of Spiritryl today for only $24.99 and we'll give you free shipping and handling.

Note: Do not take Spiritryl if you are under the age of 20 or over the age of 45, pregnant or breastfeeding. Spiritryl may cause dizziness, and sleeplessness for up to 72 hours. If sleeplessness occurs for longer than 96 hours contact a physician. People with heart problems should not take Spiritryl. Participating in any of the following activities after taking Spiritryl is considered extremely dangerous: Driving, eating, carrying children, cooking, drinking, brushing your teeth, or talking on the phone.


Anonymous said...

Side effects may include uncontrolable laughter or barking like a dog. Please consult with your pastor to see if SPIRITRYL may be right for you.

Lee Shelton said...

For those with arthritis, does it come in an easy-open Peter Popoff top?

Stefan Ewing said...

Very, very funny.

Machine Gun Kelley said...

Perhaps if I had some of this back in my days as an evangelist in the Church of God of Prophecy, I might have been more successful...?

Too bad I got interested in theology and became a Calvinistic Southern Baptist before this stuff came out!!

Funny stuff! TBNN rocks!!

Al said...

I don't know if it is PC to link to your post and comment on your post on the same day, but I wanted to say that y'all have a great blog!

Funny! A-sharp-stick-my-the-eye kinda funny!

al sends

Brother Slawson said...

Well, today was and is the day. My little brother (Tom) and his family have departed the US. This should affect TBNN very little as long as he has access to Internet (he made up today's post this morning before he got on the plane). If you click on the link near the bottom right (labled "Tom's Family's Mission Work") you'll see their vision statement for the Lord Jesus Christ and can read about their anticipated avenue of service. He doesn't know I'm putting this plug in for him (because he's probably in the air as I'm writing this)... but you can also donate to his ministry.

Stefan Ewing said...

PC? Is that OPC or PCA?

Stefan Ewing said...

May God do amazing work through the Slawsons in their mission, and may He protect and bless them.

Stefan Ewing said...

Al and any other new readers: I strongly recommend going through the archives...there's a goldmine of good stuff in there. I'd especially recommend these classics:

Net Finney Guards Families Against the Harmful Effects of Calvinism
Net Finney 2 Available Soon
Guard Your Thoughts Against Calvinism with CALVINIX!
And the jewel in the crown, From the Editor

Those are all by Tominthebox himself; recent contributions by Brother Slawson and Elder Eric are also hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Do you sell this by the case? The cattle prod has stopped working.