03 August, 2007

Robertson Predicts Seven Year "TV and Internet Famine"

Pat Robertson, founder of the 700 Club and the "Moral Majority" has made a number of "prophesies" in the past concerning future events. The religious leader and political activist has been both praised and criticized over the years for his predictions, many of which have failed to come true. But on Thursday Robertson made one of his most "unusual" prophetic statements about the coming decade. He began by relating a dream he had had earlier this week.

"I had a dream last night" said Robertson during a press interview. "I saw seven high-tech computer systems all running Windows Vista, and I saw seven old 386SX machines running DOS. The old DOS machines devoured the newer machines. I woke up and pondered this dream. I then went back to sleep. Again I dreamed and saw seven brand new HDTV systems and seven old analog black and white televisions. The old TVs devoured the HDTV systems."

Many have already noted the similarities between Robertson's dream and that of Pharaoh's in Exodus. Robertson believes that this is no coincidence.

"This dream can only mean one thing" he stated. "For seven years we are going to have an abundance of developments in the areas of high-definition television and the internet. These seven years of abundance will be followed by an internet and television famine, in which no TV or internet will be found in the land."

Despite Robertson's confidence in the divine nature of his revelation his "prophecy" has been mocked by many. But some are concerned and are taking special measures to prepare.

"I'm stocking up" said Edward Long, a used car salesman from Baltimore, Maryland. "I've got a brand new TV down in my basement that I'm not touching until the famine comes. I've been recording my favorite shows on DVD and buying up all of the movies I can. I'm also going to get onto this satellite internet thing. Maybe it won't be affected."

Robertson has made repeated attempts to contact President Bush concerning the matter, but he has yet to be received.

"I've tried to call George W." said Robertson, "but so far I've heard nothing from him. This country has got to take action now and store up for the times of trouble to come. Perhaps he could even get some special measures passed to make me second in command of the country or something and let me coordinate the effort."


Unknown said...

"Perhaps he could even get some special measures passed to make me second in command of the country or something and let me coordinate the effort."

Hmmmmm....Are you sure that's not Robertson's real reason for this prophecy?

I love this site, by the way. I just found it two days ago and have been laughing my head off ever since!

Anonymous said...

Another great post.

If I remember correctly Pharaoh's dream affect his own land and empire, so therefore Pat has misinterpreted his dream. There will abundance of his show on TV and internet for seven years (are we there yet?)then famine, namely his show will go away.

Anonymous said...

Very good, guys, but I vote for Jason's interpretation!!

Unknown said...

Maybe it's just a prophecy concerning the downfall of windows.
"The gifts of God are irrevocable." Macs are God's gifts =).

Lee Shelton said...

Seven years without the 700 Club? How will Christianity survive in this country?

Lance said...

Most likely Pat mistook the command line interface of the non-Windows machines for DOS when actually they were all home-built machines running some distribution of Linux. Thus, insofar as computers go, this is a hopeful sign of technological progress!

Rioni Unchained said...

"Maybe it's just a prophecy concerning the downfall of windows."

As we all know, the Bible records that God opposes Windows, and in fact probably has a home-made Linux, as is evidenced by the soldier's statement of incredulity in 1 Kings 7:2. God later killed this soldier for his speculation that God might use Windows.

kentlee7 said...

I agree with lance about Linux. I think this means Linux and Mac (which is also Unix-based like Linux) will swallow up Windoze. And remember what happened when King David looked out his window and saw Bathsheba? Or when a guy fell out a window in Acts and had to be resuscitated / resurrected? Clearly implicit biblical criticisms of Windows...
As for the TVs, well, the old analog frequencies will be sold off to mobile and wireless companies, meaning the new media will swallow up the old media. And shows like the 700 Club will hopefully give way to intelligent propagation of Christianity over the new media, instead of info-tainment religion like Roberson's.

Stefan Ewing said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stefan Ewing said...

Linux schminux! Sheesh, can't you take the dream for its plain meaning!? They're DOS machines! Yes, it's the downfall of Windows, but at the hands of the poor, humble, derided DOS!