16 November, 2007

Zondervan Launches the "Whatever Bible"

Grand Rapids, Michigan - Zondervan Publishing announced on Thursday the release of their latest "Bible version" called the "Whatever Bible." The Whatever Bible is unique in that it is not really a "Bible" at all in the strictest sense. Rather, it is a leather-bound collection of 500 blank pages upon which one can write whatever he or shee believes to be true. Zondervan will custom print a title on the front of the "Bible" for no extra charge.

"We believe this will open the Bible market out there to people who wouldn't traditionally be attracted to reading the Bible" said Kurt James, the editor for the project. "Instead of trying to bind people to one belief system, we believe it is important for people to come up with their own thoughts for their faith journey."

According to Zondervan, the Whatever Bible will allow each person who buys it to essentially "write their own" Bible, putting down on paper what they think is most important. This might include passages from the Christian Bible, the Koran or quotes from Buddha. One may also choose to write their own interpretive passages.

Thus far the idea is being received with much acclaim.

"This is what we've been waiting for!" said the Rev. Jacob Edmund, pastor of the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Grand Rapids. "My partner and I who co-pastor the church have always encouraged our members to think freely. Some bring the Bible to church but are not happy with all of it. Some bring the Koran, and other's bring Henry David Thoreau. But now people can write whatever they want into the book and it becomes their personal spiritual guide."

"I've already got mine ordered" said Tara Lynn Penter, member of All Souls United Church of Christ in Grand Rapids. "I can't wait to get it. I'm going to put some Bible quotes in there, but only those happy ones, none of that 'slay the wicked' business. And of course some Koran, got to keep Muhammad happy these days you know. And I've got some quotes from Highschool Musical and Sleepless in Seattle that I know will really inspire me when I read them for years to come."

The Whatever Bible comes in brown or black leather at a cost of $49.95.


Richard said...

Hahahaha. Nothing like a good morning chuckle.

Anonymous said...

The purchasers are best off leaving it blank to match their spiritual minds.

I always give people blank checks and say, "You just put down what YOU think is right."

Anonymous said...

I notice the editor was named Kurt James. This will no doubt lead to a "Kurt James Only" controversy.


OneEar said...

I think this is called the pre-Synod of Hippo Bible.

ComputerSherpa said...

Zing! :D

W.A. Foote said...


G. F. McDowell said...

tbnn said: The Whatever Bible comes in brown or black leather at a cost of $49.95.


Jim Pemberton said...

To add to W.A Foote's comment:

"Hold up your Bible [he appropriately pronounces it 'babble'] and repeat after me: This is my babble. I believe everything it says about me."