05 February, 2009

Slopology: Gail Riplinger, the Titanic and My Exploding Brain

slop-ol-o-gy (slŏp-ŏl'ə-jē)
noun, plural -gies
1. The study of slop

The absurd and far-out are no strangers to TBNN. But every now and then a little something comes along that defies any laws of stupidity. The laws of stupidity state that something can only be so ridiculous before people with an IQ of at least 12 will say "Okay, that just doesn't make any sense."

Take a look at this video posted by Alpha and Omega Ministries. It contains a radio clip by a KJV-Only extremist by the name of Gail Riplinger. For those of you who don't know about her, she's written several "books" on the subject, all filled with inaccuracies and stuff that I'm convinced she just plain made up. I've always thought Gail Riplinger to be a bit "out there", but now I'm convinced that there's something clinical going on. Just google her name and you'll see.

So here's the video.

WARNING! TBNN takes no responsibility if your IQ drops from watching this. What you're about to see is absolutely STUPID. Not just "stupid" but "stoooooopiiiiiiid!"


five_solas said...

It's kind of like when the Mayflower came over and there were these Indians and then they had learned Japanese and blah...blah...blah...blah..oops. I just became more stupid.

Brian said...

Wow! Lucifer is the Latin word for morning star, so the King James translators did not even translate the Latin. If she would have figured that one, she could have stopped with the conspiracy theories. I did not listen to all of it. It was much too painful.

Anonymous said...

I knew it! I KNEW IT! I've always wondered why an unsinkable ship like the Titanic could have been sunk by just one iceberg. That whole thing about the iceberg slicing it open like a Ginsu knife going through a can of spam has always seemed so fishy to me. But now here's a new answer I never considered before--the Titanic sank because they threw it into reverse.

One time I did that, too, in my Volkswagon Bug and wow did it make for problems. There I was speed shifting up into the second to fast lane on the 110 freeway because I couldn't actually cruise in the fast lane itself without these really warningish sounds and smells happening, but anyway, I was shifting from third to fourth and accidently just this one time went into reverse instead and wow was that like a really important thing to NOT do, but I did it anyway on accident and wow did it right away make this high keening sound just a tiny second before there was this sudden kind of bang sound along with this at the same time wrenching sensation as the back wheels tried to go backward at the same time everything else was going forward and then the shifter sort of went droopy limp in my hand and this dangerous smelling smell started to fill my car and that's when I noticed that nothing but the steering wheel seemed to be working anymore.

Well, to skip over a really tragic bunch of things that happened after that, I became a lot more familiar with the bus routes in my area. All that to say, if I'd been out at sea in my bug when that happened, I'm pretty sure it would have sunk right then, too.

So you see, there's something eerily similar between my accident and this really insightful lady's idea about the Titanic going down. I mean, just think about it, okay?

Darrin said...

She brought out the long-hidden truth that Led Zeppelin did the soundtrack for "Lucifier Rising", but forgot to point out here that this very fact PROVES that the ESV is corrupt as well!!

Alex said...

Wow. Sometimes reality is better (or worse, depending on your point of view) than satire.

Unknown said...

There is a lady who hath assurance
All that glittereth is gold
And she buyeth a stair way to heaven

There… that’s better

Sir Brass said...

Wow, what was the question she was asked?

Thanks to Dr.O for finding this, and thanks for posting it, Dr. Tom.

jennie said...

i'm pretty sure my IQ just dropped by 18,674 points.

Anonymous said...

Can she teach about this anyway....I mean, being a woman and all?

Brian said...


Ah, you picked up on quite an irony. The corner of Baptist fundamentalism she inhabited is not too keen on women teaching men, but if KJV-onlyism is "defended," mic her up. I think I heard her on Lester Roloff's program flipping through stations on the radio years ago. I would guess that was about the only time a woman preached on his radio program.

Anonymous said...

That made me spew(eth) my Diet Coke!

Just to be clear - So... both the NIV and the ESV will burn in hell?

Jim Pemberton said...

So when are you going to post some real news rather than all this satire? I mean we all know no one could be this daft.

So, we know that "Riplinger" has three syllables of three letters each and the name "Gail" is similar to a little-known ancient headhunter word for "double". And of course all those headhunters were spawn of Satan. So if you double Gail's last name you get 666 instead of 333 and this proves that Gail Riplinger is the antichrist and that she's come to shrink our heads, like those headhunters, which is code language for making us stupid.