16 March, 2007

Bishop Spong Actually Admits to Believing "Several Things" in the Bible

NEWARK, NEW JERSEY

Known as one of the most liberal scholars in modern times, former Bishop of Newark, John Shelby Spong, is an unashamed opponent to the basic fundamentals of Christianity. Many of his books including Why Christianity Must Change or Die, and The Bible Verses Homosexuality, challenge traditional views of the Bible. In short, Spong has denied the inerrancy of the Bible, the literal resurrection of Jesus, theism, the miraculous while advocating a break from traditional theism and morals. But in a recent statement Spong shocked the Christian world by finding "several things" in the Bible that he actually believes are true.

"I can, indeed, after a long search say that there are a few things in the Bible I actually believe." Said Spong. "There's not many of them, I'll admit, but there are some."

Spong went on to further articulate the facts found in the Bible he believes to be true;

  • There is an actual place called Jerusalem
  • Wine does exist
  • City walls did exist in ancient times
  • The city of Bethlehem is real
  • There is such a thing as dust
"Beyond these points though," said Spong, "I cannot make any definitive statements. These are the things in the Bible that I believe can be taken literally."

Excited about the new development, Robert Shuller expressed his delight over Spong's statements.

"This is a tremendous development!" Said Shuller. "It's great to see the progress the good Bishop has made. Hopefully the fundamentalist community will come around and begin to appreciate him."




4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Now we can have ecumenicism at its best . . . sound's like unity to me :) Too funny. Good point.

Rev. said...

One oversight on your part. Spong also confessed to believing that bread exists, although he does not believe that people should live by it alone... he stated that he believes in eating a variety of foods, especially lots of vegetables.

pilgrim said...

I'd be surprised if he admitted that much...

Stefan Ewing said...

Good one.