26 October, 2007

Jesse Jackson Calls for "Boycott of Heaven"

Chicago, Illinois - The Reverend Jesse Jackson released a public statement late on Thursday calling for a "boycott of Heaven." Jackson called for the boycott based upon "certain scriptures" that he had apparently "never read before" particularly 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 which reads, "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, no adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."

Jackson stated in the press release,

"I was shocked, dismayed, stunned and stupefied when I came across these words. I had never seen them before, and they had never come before my eyes. It is imperative, and highly important that we confront such a limiting, and immoral statement as this and take issue with it so that we may approach it and come before it with a spirit of disqualification, dissatisfaction, disappreciation and disassociation."

Jackson went on further to state,

"It is immoral, immaterial, immature and incomprehensible that any place, whether on earth or extraterrestrial or not on earth to make claims of exclusitivity against any people based on who they are or what they done. Heaven is no exception. I call upon all people of conscience to stand against Heaven until such policies of limitation are changed and made different."

In addition to calling for a boycott of Heaven, Jackson has also called for a march on the Mall in Washington D.C. on November 20th calling for "discrimination" to end. As Jackson further states,

"The policies of this administration have only furthered such opinions and caused them to grow. We will pressure Congress and the White House to come out and take a stand against Heaven."

In an interview with Jackson he explained what a boycott of Heaven entails.

"What we are trying to do is show that perhaps a mistake has been made here" said Jackson. "It is highly immoral and wrong for any place to put up barriers and not allow people to come in. Until these discriminatory policies are changed and altered we will not be going there."

A local conservative Anglican pastor in the Chicago area who wished to remain anonymous commented on that statement by saying "If Jackson keeps doing what he's doing then he's got nothing to worry about."

8 comments:

Joe Blackmon said...

You know, this doesn't even sound like satire. I can actually hear the "Reverend" Jackson saying this. Especially the part about never have read that in the Bible. I have a feeling his has been gathering dust for years if he even owns one.

Still funny though.

Anonymous said...

if it were possible, the good Dr. MLKJR would be rolling in his grave about now!!!

Anonymous said...

Wide is the road that leads to universalism, and many there be that find it.

Tim Ashcraft said...

Let's hope the good reverend never stumbles upon Romans chapter 9.

Malachi_Abaddon said...

I say let him. If Congress would hear him, it would mean that they would have to acknowledge that God exists, something they've been trying to hide for so long.

(and yes, I do know that this is satire)

Anonymous said...

I think we should boycott Jesse Jackson and call for the revocation of his ordination. By the way, who ordained this guy to the ministry any way????

Richard said...

Ok, this has nothing to do with this post, but I would like all of y'all's insight into this question:

1. Is it possible to believe the Gospel and not be saved?

2. Must one 'make a decision for Christ'?

I thought Paul taught clearly that we are justified by faith, and they the Holy Spirit indwells us upon our belief in the Gospel.

With that in mind, is it not enough to merely believe that Jesus came, died for my sins according to the scripture, was buried, and rose again according to the scripture?

Or, after believing all this, must a sinner make a conscious choice to accept/receive Jesus as their personal savior?

One of my books for school mentions 2 Cor. 5:11, Acts 18:4, Acts 26:28, Acts 18:13, Acts 19:26, and Luke 14:23 as his basis for our having to present the "opportunity right there for the person you are witnessing to to receive Jesus as Savior".

Must we include an invitation while witnessing?

All thoughts are welcome.

Anonymous said...

Richard,
I'll take a shot, though giving good responses to even seemingly simple questions can be a challenge. To you main questions, I'd answer 1) No, and 2) Yes. I was initially going to say that one might give mental assent to the truths of the gospel yet not embrace them unto salvation. But on further consideration, it really appears to me biblically that conversion of the mind and will go together. Some people surely know the Bible yet aren't saved, but I would have a hard time accepting that anyone really agrees with its truths yet doesn't seek to follow Christ. I say yes to (2) because there is an internal conscious decision made upon salvation, though the outward response may not always be immediately apparent to the obeserver. An invitation to accept Christ when witnessing is certainly appropriate. I'm not sure if a "must" each time. We can communicate the gospel, and expressing what the required reponse is seems appropriate (as Christ preached, "Repent and believe the gospel"). However, God may be pleased to just plant seeds of truth with no fruit at this time, or the person may never come to salvation: but still God may be pleased with our obedience.