Frustrated Monsters Everywhere Join the "Emerging Lurch" Movement

They might be "creepy" and "kooky, mysterious and spooky," but lately they've been frustrated and discouraged. Recently a growing number of monsters all around the world have become increasingly dissatisfied with traditional monsterdom and have begun to look elsewhere to discover more about themselves and who they are.

The trend began about five years ago when Lurch, best known for his portrayal of the character "Lurch" on the Addams Family TV show, emerged stating that he was "tired" of playing the traditional roll of a monster in today's postmodern and changing world.

"Traditional monsterdom has got to change" said Lurch. "We're tired of being told what a monster should be like. Maybe I don't want to walk around all stiff-necked, grunting all the time. Maybe I'm tired of scaring little kids to death, or creeping out the neighbors. I know that those have been the traditional views of what a monster should be, but I don't think it can be that black and white anymore. It's time to start challenging these views. Conversation needs to start in these areas."

When Lurch made his feelings public he had no idea the stir that they would cause. Soon, several hundred monsters came out in support of Lurch's movement, then several thousand. Now tens of thousands of monsters have joined what has become known as "The Emerging Lurch Movement."

"We meet wherever and whenever we can now" said Lockhart Schmidt, a zombie from Tennessee. "It used to be that we'd always have to meet out in the woods somewhere in the middle of the night with a full moon and fog and all that jazz. Now a group of us will get together on a Friday night at Starbucks or a local pub and have a beer or two...or five while we talk about what it means to be a follower of monsterdom."

"The whole point of this is that each of us must figure out for his or her or its self what it means to be a monster" said Lurch. "We don't try to give all of the answers. Each one must find his or her or its own path, and come to his or her or its own conclusions. Is that messy thinking? Absolutely, but we cherish the messiness. Doing monstrology is messy business. I don't think we can simply systematize a whole philosophy like some try to do."

As the movement spreads, groups plan to hold various activities to attract more participants from the monster world.

"We're trying to reach out to those who have been possibly hurt by traditional monster groups" said Lurch. "We want to help them break free of the mold. We want to setup meditation seminars, and possibly build some labyrinths for people to walk, or even bring in some Gurus to do Yoga or something. We are encouraging monsters everywhere to explore their own paths as followers of monsterdom."