Do you want to be as close as possible to the church in Acts?Have you washed your hands of the institutional church for the pure and authentic New Testament experience? Now you can wash your body of it too with all new Acts Body Wash. After just one shower, you're home church will not only look just like the church of the New Testament, but will smell like it too!
Acts Body Wash is specially formulated to replicate the smells of the first-century Near East. Based on the most accurate historic research, our scientists have painstakingly produced what is believed to be the the exact smells of New Testament times. These smells include:
Acts Body Wash is specially formulated to replicate the smells of the first-century Near East. Based on the most accurate historic research, our scientists have painstakingly produced what is believed to be the the exact smells of New Testament times. These smells include:
- Human sewerage waste
- Animal dung
- Rotting meat
- Dead fish
- Six-month unbathed person
- Filth
- Death
So try new Acts Body Wash today and you're church will not only look New Testament, but will smell like it too!
2 comments:
As funny as this post is, it is not outside the realm of "Christian" marketing. Check this out:
http://www.hiswitnessscents.com/
Apparently now you don't have to tell people about Jesus, you can just smell like Him!
This is hilarious! It sounds like something from the New Testament rewrite called "The Tenement Gospel" by Ester Lighthorse. Somewhere in one of the gospels it says something like, "Blessed are anti-depressants for they help those of us with brains to deal with those of us without brains."
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