05 November, 2007

Man's Birthright Fetches $49.95 on Ebay

Boonville, Arkansas - What do you do when you're out of work, low on cash and have a computer? If you're Prentiss Fullman, you sell your "birthright" on Ebay.

Fullman, 34, who lives with his parents, recently took the "drastic measures" because of a recent confrontation he had had with them. It seems that Fullman's parents, Bobby John and Helen, finally gave their son an ultimatum, "get a job, or get out of the trailer." When they told him this he argued with his parents that he was unable to work because of his "disability."

"We really got into it one night" said Fullman. "I was playing Halo 3 in my room when dad busted in and started yelling and me about being lazy. I've been trying to find a job now for the last 10 years, just nothing in management will ever open up for me. And I can't do hard work on account of my disability."

"He is as lazy as the day is long" said Bobby John Fullman. "He sleeps in till 2 in the afternoon every day, walks around the house in boxers and eats us out of house and home. He's got a bunch of bum friends who are always over playing them stupid video games. We just couldn't take it anymore."

When the argument finally ended an ultimatum was issued to Fullman. His parent's gave him one month to find a job and get out of the house. Fullman actually spent two days looking for employment before deciding that he had enough.

"I'm just not cut out for hard work" stated Fullman. "Some people think that means I'm lazy, but I think it's just not where my talents lie."

But one night about 2AM Fullman caught an idea that he thought would be the answer to all of his problems.

"I was watching this television preacher late one night" said Fullman. "I can't remember what his name was, but I always like to watch him cause he starts hooting and hollering all around the stage and knocking people on the ground and stuff. Well, he started talking about in the Bible when this guy Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of soup. I got to thinking real hard about that idea and it started looking real good."

The next day when Fullman woke up he went to his parents and asked about his place in the family will. Fullman's father told him a list of the things he would receive when he and his mother died. The list included,

  • The Fullman's 3 bedroom 1 1/2 bath trailer.
  • One 12-gauge shotgun
  • The family dog "Booger"
  • Uncle Frank's ashes
  • An Arkansas State spit cup
After confirming the list with his father Fullman proceeded to go online and list his "birthright" on Ebay, hoping to make enough money to move out and get his own place.

"I started the listing at $.99 with no reserve price" said Fullman. "I listed the items and posted some pictures for people to see, and set the auction for 7 days."

Fullman anxiously waited and watched to see if anyone would bid on the items, but after seven days, when the auction ended he managed to only get $49.95.

"I don't know what I'm going to do now" said Fullman. "Now I ain't got nothing. What am I gonna do with fifty dollars? That'll buy me two nights at a Motel 6, but what about after that?"

According to Fullman's parents they have honored the agreement of the Ebay sale and have replaced their son's name in the will with that of the winning bidder. They admit to feeling sorry for their son not receiving more, but they still plan to hold to their original agreement.

"He's got two weeks left before he's out" said Bobby John Fullman. "It's ashame this happened, but he's got to learn to be a man now."

"I'm not giving up yet" said Fullman. "I've been watching that preacher to see if I can get anymore ideas. There might still be another way."


Anonymous said...

I would think Uncle Frank's ashes alone are worth $50.

Richard said...

Ok, unrelated to this post (as too many of my comments are), I'd like to say something.

Tom: excellent handling of the Halloween issue.

To Bro. Slawson and Elder Eric....for some weird reason I was thinking that y'all were the same person, so I apologize for addressing y'all inappropriately at times.

Brother Slawson said...

No problem, Darrin, people get us mixed up all the time.

Anonymous said...

Alright, knock it off.

Anonymous said...

I want Booger! He's probably some sort of expensive pedigree!