"Don't be fooled by imitations." Good words that good people try to live by. When it comes to the finest quality Whiseguys out there accept no substitutes for Old Emergent Straight Postmodern Whiseguys.
Old Emergent is finest of the finest. Our disturbing philosophy is simple. We don't arrogantly try to bottle a product that forces one flavor on people. Instead we fill each bottle with the finest quality absolutely nothing that is available. Just open a bottle and fill it with whatever you like, adjusted perfectly to your preferences. No one can tell you what to put in your bottle because no one knows exactly what should go in there, even we don't!
Not sure what to put in yours? Don't worry, just keep it empty for as long as you like, and each day pop off the top, and pour yourself up a shot of nothing. Sip slowly and enjoy the fact that there's no right or wrong way to drink up Old Emergent Straight Postmodern Whiseguys.
GENERAL WARNING: OLD EMERGENT STRAIGHT POSTMODERN WHISEGUYS IS SPIRITUALLY HARMFUL. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO OPERATE THEOLOGICAL REASONING WHILE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THIS SUBSTANCE.