13 February, 2008

Wanted: Youth Pastor

Wednesday, February 13, 2008
To: Claiborne County Herald
From: Calvary Baptist Church, Parker, Georgia
Re: Youth Pastor

The Calvary Baptist Church of Parker Georgia is currently seeking a part-time youth pastor.  We are a close congregation of about 400 active members and a youth group of about 25 students.

Duties will include (but are not limited to) organizing and conducting any and all youth functions, activities and Bible lessons, Sunday Schools and youth choirs.  The youth group currently meets on Sunday nights after our evening service from 7-10PM and on Wednesday nights from 6-9PM. An extra weekly activity is also expected on the weekends.  Planning for these events is absolutely essential, but do not expect any child to tell you they are planning to come until the last minute.  Be prepared also to attend any and all pep-rallies at the local school, all dance team and cheerleading functions, and it would be nice if you showed up at football, baseball, soccer and tennis practices a couple of times a week to cheer the boys on.  It is also expected that you meet with each of the students privately at least once a week for lunch or something.

All activities much be chaperoned.  We prefer the parents to not be chaperones, because otherwise none of the kids will want to come.  You'll need to find creative ways to get non-parents to want to come on the trips and convince the parents that do want to come not to.

Planned activities are expected for any and all school holidays.  A spring break trip is a must as well as a summer conference somewhere at the beach.  You will be expected to emphasize and impress the idea of modesty upon our female students.  Be careful not to tick off the parents when doing this, as some of them might not take well to you criticizing the bikinis they bought. Careful judgment will be needed.

You will also be expected to attend all deacons meetings as well as be on the education committee.  You will want to have a good presence in the church, so it will be important that you also get involved personally in several Bible studies for yourself, and be at any and all church functions.

Oh, and also, the youth choir meets on Sunday afternoons before evening worship.  Our turnout for this group hasn't been good in the past as few of the students are interested.  But we need someone to spark their interests and make them sing well.

Finally, we'll need you to fill in for the pastor when he's out sick or gone for whatever reason. This will mean preaching both Sunday services, and doing some hospital visitation.

The position is roughly a 10-15 hour per week job.  We are generously offering a salary of $18,000.  You will need to find your own medical insurance.  Married applicants will be preferred as the youth minister's wife will be expected to function as a mentor to all of the girls in the group and personally chaperone all trips.  


Corey Reynolds said...

Wow! That's a ridiculously generous salary! I used to do all of the above for a youth group of 35 and the annual salary (no benefits) was $7500. But then again, you know, anyone can do this stuff and they're just kids anyway. Why spend good money on them or the poor soul who works with them?

Charlie Wallace said...

That's hilarious. I'm linking that on my site.

Anonymous said...

THEY SOOOOOOO stole that job description from my former church. But yeah, at least they are going to pay the guy BIG BUCKS for his efforts.

Anonymous said...

I have seen churches in the area where I grew up at expect the pastor to live on this much salary.

Anonymous said...

At 15 hours per week, 52 weeks a year, that $18,000 works out to a nice $23 (and change) per hour. (That is IF that's all the hours he has to work on that job.)

I'll bet that poor guy will have a lot more on his plate than that compensation will begin to cover!

I pity the fellow's wife in dealing with this fellow's work load and the extra work that gets dumped on her, too.

A starting salary of $18,000 a year was great - 28 years ago. Now?

Kudos to all you pastors and youth leaders for the hard work you do. You who handle God's word with integrity and minister accordingly are more than worthy of "double honor"!

To the pastors & youth leaders I have had (Pastor Ed, Pastor Ray, Pastor Gray, Pastor Jack ...) you have certainly positively influenced me, and I appreciate you for it.

Anonymous said...

I'm a part time youth director so I love this! (However, that salary is much to high!!)

Anonymous said...

"It is also expected that you meet with each of the students privately at least once a week for lunch or something." with 25 students?? How can you do that. and all the other prep, meetings, functions, camps, visitations etc in 10 - 15 hours per week?? It sounds more like a full time job than a part time job to me....regardless of salary.

Anonymous said...

You failed to mention the necessity of the youth pastor also seeking formal training from seminary and maintaining a full load of classes. This is a must for the future of the youth pastor and the students to be grounded in proper learning and teaching.

Jim Pemberton said...

This is satire only in the fact that most church personnel committees wouldn't actually be honest enough to say this outright in a classified ad.

Anonymous said...

I'm a youth minister and I would kill for 18k a year.