04 April, 2008

Advertisement: Save Time and Stay Safe with Your Own SPS System

It's both a dangerous and busy world out there. You want to read your Bible and grow spiritually but there's just too much to do in a day. At the same time you know that there are temptations all around you, and you don't want to fall victim to those things which can literally "suck you in."

Well, now there's the perfect solution. Introducing the new Spiritual Positioning System (SPS-1000) from Notosin. Notosin's new SPS-1000 uses the latest technology to simply tell you what to do, where to go and where not to go. Keep it with you all the time, at home, in the car, while you're driving, etc. Use the different preset levels to tell your Notosin SPS-1000 how strict you want to be. The SPS-1000 does the rest.

Notosin's new SPS-1000 uses the latest in voice technology to warn you with sin is near. Just read these amazing testimonials.

"I started using my SPS-1000 about two weeks ago. I've got mine set to the 'Ultra-Legalistic' level, and my SPS-1000 warns me if anyone is even saying the word 'television' anywhere nearby." - Rod Ochem, Birmingham, AL

"The Notosin SPS-1000 is fantastic. I keep mine set to 'Fairly Conservative' most of the time. I can't tell you how much trouble I've stayed out of since buying this great item." - Dianne Richardson, LaCrosse, WI

With Notosin's SPS-1000 you'll never have to worry about reading your Bible or fighting temptation ever again. And at only $1295.00 they're a steal!


James Kubecki said...

That would be helpful when applying for this job. (Note the final requirement.)

Anonymous said...

I bought my SPS System a few months ago. I keep it set on Postmodern Relativism and now it never goes off!

Stefan Ewing said...

Okay, as a marketing guy for a company that sells in-car GPS devices, I have to say I really like this one....

It could come in handy, except for the in-place-of-reading-the-Bible part.

So that road that goes straight ahead, is that the "ancient path"?

"Ultra-legalistic." Har har!

Spectacularly brilliant graphics, too!

Jim Pemberton said...

I hate to be the dissenting voice on this one. Some guy asked me about Christ and I failed to share the gospel with him and the thing didn't go off. I procrastinated all day Saturday and didn't take care of some much-needed work around the house and it didn't go off. The weird thing is that I lusted in my heart and it called up an error. Finally, I went to visit and pray with a guy in prison and it wouldn't stop going off.

RalphC said...

Supposedly the mapping tools were customizable, so I uploaded Google's and the device imploded.